Observing Ego

One of the most important tools we have for decoding the matrix and living consciously is our own intellectual ability to observe reality for what it is. Contrary to how this sounds, you don't need to be a genius or incredibly intelligent to do this. All you need is to be willing to observe, accept, and take action within the reality that actually exists. Not the reality that we have been trained to believe in.

I have heard it said that an upwards of 95% of our behaviors and thoughts are auto-responses that we have learned through conditioning. 95%!!!!!! No wonder so many of us are walking through the world like robots! Well the time has come to SNAP OUT OF IT!

Of course, this may not be something that can happen over night for us. It sure isn't happening that way for me. But Sigmund Fred wrote on an incredible topic that I heard about through another favorite thinker of mine named Dr. Paul Dobranski. This topic is the idea of the “Observing Ego.” Essentially, Observing Ego is the mechanism through which you can monitor yourself in real time. This is an essential part of making changes to your thoughts, your behaviors, and ultimately, your life.

The idea is that we have an inherent mechanism through we which we can view our behaviors, thoughts, emotions, and actions in real time as they are manifesting. Furthermore, we can become aware of why these forces are coming into effect, and make proactive changes as necessary to avoid negative consequences, or turn situations into positive learning experiences. Its as if there is an actual second person who is viewing us from above through an objective prism and giving us direct feedback about the reality of the situation.

For example, let's take a scenario where a man in a bar is talking to a woman that he wants to get to know. She is somewhat skeptical of him and somewhat aloof. As he tries to win her attention and affection, he is leaning into her and beginning to speak loud and fast with his eye brows raised. If he has never been made aware of this behavior and has not developed the ability to self-monitor, he will likely continue to spiral downward into this trap until the woman has gone from quickly waning interest to downright discomfort and dislike.

However, if he is aware that this behavior has been a problem for him in the past and he has developed the ability to self monitor, he can actually catch himself in the midst of this behavior and make a change in real time.

What's more, is that Observing Ego will allow this man to see why his behavior is changing. He can instantaneously realize that the reason he is behaving this way is because he is emotionally attached to the outcome of his interaction with this woman. His behaviors are a natural expression of his state of mind. He can then make a voluntary decision to change his mindset on the fly, and his behavior patterns will follow immediately. This could have a material effect on the entire situation. One could also argue that this could play out in a major way over the course of the rest of his life, and hers, and any resulting children and grandchildren should the interaction last until death do they part.

What is important to take note of, is the fact that Observing Ego must be developed through practice. There are several great exercises that I've developed here on this website that you can use for exactly this. The primary goal is to first become aware of your faults and typical behavior patterns. These can be best discovered through the active use of a personal inventory that investigates our sources of anger, fear, and sexual conduct. The same type of inventory can also be applied to other behaviors such as poor eating, gambling, binge drinking, or other unhealthy and damaging behaviors.

***Important note: These tools are not appropriate on their own for individuals with actual chemical dependencies including alcoholism or drug addiction, eating disorders, chronic gambling or sex addictions, or any other mental illness. If you suspect that you or someone you love is suffering from one of these chronic medical conditions, leave this site immediately and seek professional medical attention right away.

Once the typical reactions have been identified and talked through with an objective party such as a friend or spiritual advisor, they can be indexed in the mind. Through careful attentional and consistent vigilance, these behaviors and thoughts will begin to become apparent to you as they arise. You can then recognize them for what they are, tie them back to their source, and create new thoughts and behaviors in real time.

Here is an example:
A man of short stature often finds himself more easily angered by other men who are larger in size. He doesn't actually realize this, but does get himself into occasional unnecessary confrontations that cause him grief. He also tends to experience slight changes in his personality that are obvious to those around him when someone bigger than him is dominating a conversation or making suggestions that others are willing to follow. Many times he is hard pressed to come to agreements and is flippant and rude, even though he values compromise and harmony in most situations.

Upon examination of his resentments and fears regarding previous experiences, he realizes that he is still angry at people and circumstances from his younger years that are no longer relevant. In particular there may have been specific situation where he was the target of abuse or taken advantage of because of his smaller size. He then realizes that these feelings are very similar to the feelings that he has towards people who he is often confrontational with presently as an adult. Seeing the link it becomes obvious to him that his behaviors are not those that he necessarily wishes to emulate, but that they are automatic reactions to his fear that previous circumstances will re-materialize. And because of his mind set, they often do. This keeps his own cycle of resentment and fear alive and well without him even knowing that there is a way to break that cycle and become free of these delusions.

But now that he is aware of the part that he plays in these situations, as well as the causes behind his actions, he is more conscious of his behavior. Over time, he develops the ability to pick up on the feelings and sensations that well up inside of him when a larger man is in his presence. He then checks those feelings before they manifest as actions. As a result, he makes different choices in his interactions with people and gets different results. Over time his resentments and fears become obsolete and useless to him, and he continues to develop his ability to self monitor and choose his own thoughts and actions. This has ripple effects through his whole life where he is open to connection with entire groups of people and individuals that he would previously have cut off from his reality.

And this is the essence of Observing Ego.
1. becoming aware of one's own thoughts and actions through a personal inventory
2. taking responsibility to understand these thoughts and actions and resolve to change
3. catching oneself in the act of thinking and/or reacting
4. comprehending the source and utility of such thoughts and actions
5. rendering these outdated mechanisms useless through positive choices in thought and action.

Part of what makes Observing Ego so powerful is that it is a purely intellectual and observational mechanism that is detached from emotion. Therefore it allows for a completely objective view of any situation or state independent of emotional energy that usually clouds reasoning and judgment. However, Observing Ego can only function to the level of maturity to which is has been practiced. If the emotional intensity of a situation is far beyond the levels to which the Observing Ego has been developed, it won't be a surprise if the individual is unable to self monitor and reacts emotionally. However, if consistently worked at, Observing Ego can reach a level where it can match almost any emotional state.

It should also be noted that a person can have a highly operational and effective Observing Ego in some areas of their life, and virtually no ability to self monitor and make changes in other areas. Some examples of this would be a highly successful and in shape business man who can't hold a healthy relationship despite his own perceived desire for one, the loving and understanding wife and mother who wants to loose weight but continues to eat unhealthy, or the considerate and relationship oriented athlete who fails to sufficiently control his finances.

For purposes of breaking this concept down and writing this article, I have given Observing Ego a relatively academic and mechanical feel. However, when practiced thoroughly it becomes a working part of the mind that functions almost on auto-pilot. For many people, this faculty has been in place for a long time and developed naturally, and they are not even aware of its existence. With much practice, this same can be true for those who decide to develop it consciously.

What's more, is that Observing Ego can be applied to ANY behavior at all. Here's a few examples: bickering, over eating, drinking, smoking, sex, approval seeking, going to work every day, road rage, shop lifting, obsessive exercise, shopping...the list goes on and on and on.

For anyone who desires to make changes in their life as a whole or in specific areas, Observing Ego is an incredibly effective and powerful tool to learn and master.