One of the fundamentals for decoding our own psychological Matrix in order to press onward and upward to success and fulfillment is Gratitude. This can be a hard concept to grasp when experiencing something overwhelming or when first trying to make a major change in your life. But it is a spritual axiom that energy produces more of its kind. In other words, positive thoughts create more positive thoughts. And negative thoughts, produce more negative thoughts. Furthermore, our thoughts actually manifest themselves in our reality.
So whether you are in a good or foul mood for any number of reasons, it is a great exercise to regularly make a list of the things you are grateful for. Doing so can strengthen an already positive frame, as well as provide the catalyst for turning a sour state of mind sweet.
Think about it. None of us are perfect. We all have days where something is really bothering us or something is going wrong. The way we react to those conditions is going to determine how we deal with them and move on. And different people react differently. But have you ever known someone who is just able to accept things for what they are and "see the bright side?" Those people don't stay in a negative state for very long do they? I know people who don't quite get there at all, or very rarely.
But sometimes, we are tempted to dwell in negativity. And my response to that, is to be grateful for the good that we see. A physical and mental exercise for honoring and appreciating what ever good we can find is a great step in the right direction. And a great exercise for maintaining wellness.
But gratitude isn't just about remembering the good. Real gratitude is being grateful for the bad. I know that might sound counter intuitive but the fact is that we all have challenges and demons. Adversity, bad luck, poor genetics, wrong place at the wrong time, loss, failure, all have their place in the world. And we all either already have, or will experience some form of something we don't want or feel we didn't deserve.
But our true personal power will come down to the ability to extract the value and the lesson from those circumstances. Then it can no longer own us. We then own it.
So I encourage you to start a gratitude list. Whether you write it every morning, add to it on occassion, read it daily, or save the exercise for a time when you really need a mental and/or spiritual uplift, it will prove to be a valuabe tool to help keep you on the right track.
Here's my list for today, right now:
I'm grateful for:
being able to hear the birds, my fully functional body, the pain and disappointments that I've gotten over, food, knowledge, my real friends, the times I've found out the hard way that someone wasn't my friend, that I can support myself, the roof over my head, my vison, my health, hard lessons, hard work, my intellect, all the opportunity I see, people who have passed hard lessons onto me, empathy, the kiwi I just ate, my bed, music, art, my trip to France, A/C, what I learned from getting robbed, hard jobs I've had, that I didn't fit in, my ability to stand on my own for what I know is right, my Life
Showing posts with label Decoding Your Psychological Matrix. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Decoding Your Psychological Matrix. Show all posts
Friday, June 13, 2008
Thursday, June 12, 2008
From Pain To Change
From Pain To Change
Fire! Fire! You can hear the scream coming from the next room as you come up out of a deep sleep. You jump out of bed and sprint to the kitchen to find a raging fire on the stove. What do you do? Would you yawn and go back to bed? Of course not! I'm hoping you would call the fire department, grab a fire extinguisher, or get the hell out of there. Regardless of the action that you take, you would take action. To not do anything and ignore that alarm, wouldn't make the fire go away. It would only give the fire more time to burn everything in site. And what if you just saw a little smoke? Would you let that fester until it became a raging fire? I wouldn't think so.
I've heard it said that the best catalyst for making a change is pain. And in my experience, this is true. If you aren't aware of a problem, you have no idea what to change, or how to go about making that change. But if you can just “feel” that something is wrong, that is an alarm going off letting you know that it is time for some self-exploration and to get to work on finding the source and making the change.
Sometimes the alarm sounds like the blaring call of a passing opportunity or as subtle as a waft of smoke in the distance calling you toward your true burning desire for purpose. In any case, the signal often comes in the form of an uneasy and unsettling sensation that something is amiss and needs action from you in order to be corrected.
But the longer that alarm goes off without you taking any action the worse the pain will become. So pain really isn't necessarily always a bad thing. It can serve as an alarm or a smoke signal, letting us know that it is time for change, or that we could be doing better for ourselves. Yet when many of us feel internal pain, or a sense of unease, we often fail to take action. I have some thoughts on why that is in another article that you can find here.
As an extreme example, I'll tell you a bit of my story. In my twenties I managed to get myself into a position where I couldn't stand going to work. I had worked for only three different companies in that period of time. The first company for 3 years, the second company for 4 years, and the third company for just a few months.
There would be brief periods where I would be excited about my job and work hard, but inevitably, long periods of time would come about where I felt tremendously unfulfilled. I had a metaphorical headache from banging my head against a wall. And no matter how many forms of motivation, affirmations, and self talk I tried, it was a battle that just could not be won. What was worse, was that it appeared that so many other people seemed to just be ok with the cubicle ridden lifestyle. So in addition to feeling unfulfilled, bored, and frustrated, I felt like a total outcast.
In the good spirit of trying to be fair to my surroundings and take responsibility for myself, I would constantly tell myself that it wasn't the job, it was me that was mis-aligned. So I stayed in my first two positions for considerably long periods of time trying to figure out how to be of better service to my customers, how to sell more, and how to provide more “value.”
What I didn't realize was that while I was on the right track looking inward at how I could make the situation better, I actually was not the right person for those situations. That became abundantly clear to me when I started my third job working for a web security company where I had an incredible manager who I got along with, fantastic co-workers, and was selling a phenomenal product. The problem was that I just was NOT happy.
And it wasn't my manager, the people I worked with, or what I was selling. It was the lifestyle that I was leading. I couldn't stand the fact that I was showing up where someone else said I had to show up, when they said to show up, and then left when they said I could leave. My income was limited by the plans put in place, and I even had to wear a head set while on the phone that felt like a real life plug in into the Matrix.
And worst of all, I felt like I had no PURPOSE!
It finally hit me that that was what had been plaguing me. My completely mundane and boring existence as a cog in the corporate wheel was killing me. Second by second the life was draining out of me, transmutating into money, and dripping into the bank account of the executives and owners of the company that I was working for. And I wasn't doing anything about it. All that time, the feelings of inadequacy, failure, and frustration, was my unconscious setting off blaring alarms that I was in the wrong place and living a life that was not in alignment with the Universe's best intentions for me.
The moment that I realized this brought with it a pang of such a sharp and stinging realization that I resolved to find my purpose and begin to live it. And that night when I got home, as a ceremonious reminder to myself, I wrote this incantation:
5/31/2008
“The time has come for a major change. I have reached the end of the path for this chapter of my life. It has come down to do or die. I can no longer endure the insulting and humiliating misery of perpetuating someone else's reality. I will no longer accept for myself the life of servitude that I have been living. My mission is to serve a higher purpose. Not some trivial corporate entity. I was put on this planet to make a difference, to carry a message. I will succeed in that mission, no matter what it takes.”
So I set out on a mission to identify my “Higher Purpose” and start living it. And once I made that decision I started to find tremendous resources and people who inspired and guided me toward this major part of my personal Transformation.
The point of this story is that for a long time I had a nagging suspicion that something wasn't right in my life. That I was doing something that just was not congruent with who I am. When the pain got great enough, I started to move. And as soon as I started to take action, I built a burning desire to change my life and my circumstances. Had I not made any moves toward change, I would still be living the same un-fulfilling and meaningless life that I was living before.
I happened to focus on career in this post, but this principle can apply to any part of life. Are you ignoring signs that any part of your life isn't really what you want? Maybe in your relationships or family life? Is there a dream that you may have given up on or a passion that you feel called to follow, but you just haven't gotten yourself to pursue it? It's worth thinking about.
So as you continue or begin your journey of personal Transformation, learn to pay attention to the signs. Are there any alarms going off in your mind? Is the Universe sending you smoke signals from off in the distance? If so, the time is now to put out the fire and make the changes necessary to start building the life that you truly desire.
Fire! Fire! You can hear the scream coming from the next room as you come up out of a deep sleep. You jump out of bed and sprint to the kitchen to find a raging fire on the stove. What do you do? Would you yawn and go back to bed? Of course not! I'm hoping you would call the fire department, grab a fire extinguisher, or get the hell out of there. Regardless of the action that you take, you would take action. To not do anything and ignore that alarm, wouldn't make the fire go away. It would only give the fire more time to burn everything in site. And what if you just saw a little smoke? Would you let that fester until it became a raging fire? I wouldn't think so.
I've heard it said that the best catalyst for making a change is pain. And in my experience, this is true. If you aren't aware of a problem, you have no idea what to change, or how to go about making that change. But if you can just “feel” that something is wrong, that is an alarm going off letting you know that it is time for some self-exploration and to get to work on finding the source and making the change.
Sometimes the alarm sounds like the blaring call of a passing opportunity or as subtle as a waft of smoke in the distance calling you toward your true burning desire for purpose. In any case, the signal often comes in the form of an uneasy and unsettling sensation that something is amiss and needs action from you in order to be corrected.
But the longer that alarm goes off without you taking any action the worse the pain will become. So pain really isn't necessarily always a bad thing. It can serve as an alarm or a smoke signal, letting us know that it is time for change, or that we could be doing better for ourselves. Yet when many of us feel internal pain, or a sense of unease, we often fail to take action. I have some thoughts on why that is in another article that you can find here.
As an extreme example, I'll tell you a bit of my story. In my twenties I managed to get myself into a position where I couldn't stand going to work. I had worked for only three different companies in that period of time. The first company for 3 years, the second company for 4 years, and the third company for just a few months.
There would be brief periods where I would be excited about my job and work hard, but inevitably, long periods of time would come about where I felt tremendously unfulfilled. I had a metaphorical headache from banging my head against a wall. And no matter how many forms of motivation, affirmations, and self talk I tried, it was a battle that just could not be won. What was worse, was that it appeared that so many other people seemed to just be ok with the cubicle ridden lifestyle. So in addition to feeling unfulfilled, bored, and frustrated, I felt like a total outcast.
In the good spirit of trying to be fair to my surroundings and take responsibility for myself, I would constantly tell myself that it wasn't the job, it was me that was mis-aligned. So I stayed in my first two positions for considerably long periods of time trying to figure out how to be of better service to my customers, how to sell more, and how to provide more “value.”
What I didn't realize was that while I was on the right track looking inward at how I could make the situation better, I actually was not the right person for those situations. That became abundantly clear to me when I started my third job working for a web security company where I had an incredible manager who I got along with, fantastic co-workers, and was selling a phenomenal product. The problem was that I just was NOT happy.
And it wasn't my manager, the people I worked with, or what I was selling. It was the lifestyle that I was leading. I couldn't stand the fact that I was showing up where someone else said I had to show up, when they said to show up, and then left when they said I could leave. My income was limited by the plans put in place, and I even had to wear a head set while on the phone that felt like a real life plug in into the Matrix.
And worst of all, I felt like I had no PURPOSE!
It finally hit me that that was what had been plaguing me. My completely mundane and boring existence as a cog in the corporate wheel was killing me. Second by second the life was draining out of me, transmutating into money, and dripping into the bank account of the executives and owners of the company that I was working for. And I wasn't doing anything about it. All that time, the feelings of inadequacy, failure, and frustration, was my unconscious setting off blaring alarms that I was in the wrong place and living a life that was not in alignment with the Universe's best intentions for me.
The moment that I realized this brought with it a pang of such a sharp and stinging realization that I resolved to find my purpose and begin to live it. And that night when I got home, as a ceremonious reminder to myself, I wrote this incantation:
5/31/2008
“The time has come for a major change. I have reached the end of the path for this chapter of my life. It has come down to do or die. I can no longer endure the insulting and humiliating misery of perpetuating someone else's reality. I will no longer accept for myself the life of servitude that I have been living. My mission is to serve a higher purpose. Not some trivial corporate entity. I was put on this planet to make a difference, to carry a message. I will succeed in that mission, no matter what it takes.”
So I set out on a mission to identify my “Higher Purpose” and start living it. And once I made that decision I started to find tremendous resources and people who inspired and guided me toward this major part of my personal Transformation.
The point of this story is that for a long time I had a nagging suspicion that something wasn't right in my life. That I was doing something that just was not congruent with who I am. When the pain got great enough, I started to move. And as soon as I started to take action, I built a burning desire to change my life and my circumstances. Had I not made any moves toward change, I would still be living the same un-fulfilling and meaningless life that I was living before.
I happened to focus on career in this post, but this principle can apply to any part of life. Are you ignoring signs that any part of your life isn't really what you want? Maybe in your relationships or family life? Is there a dream that you may have given up on or a passion that you feel called to follow, but you just haven't gotten yourself to pursue it? It's worth thinking about.
So as you continue or begin your journey of personal Transformation, learn to pay attention to the signs. Are there any alarms going off in your mind? Is the Universe sending you smoke signals from off in the distance? If so, the time is now to put out the fire and make the changes necessary to start building the life that you truly desire.
Wednesday, June 11, 2008
Observing Ego
One of the most important tools we have for decoding the matrix and living consciously is our own intellectual ability to observe reality for what it is. Contrary to how this sounds, you don't need to be a genius or incredibly intelligent to do this. All you need is to be willing to observe, accept, and take action within the reality that actually exists. Not the reality that we have been trained to believe in.
I have heard it said that an upwards of 95% of our behaviors and thoughts are auto-responses that we have learned through conditioning. 95%!!!!!! No wonder so many of us are walking through the world like robots! Well the time has come to SNAP OUT OF IT!
Of course, this may not be something that can happen over night for us. It sure isn't happening that way for me. But Sigmund Fred wrote on an incredible topic that I heard about through another favorite thinker of mine named Dr. Paul Dobranski. This topic is the idea of the “Observing Ego.” Essentially, Observing Ego is the mechanism through which you can monitor yourself in real time. This is an essential part of making changes to your thoughts, your behaviors, and ultimately, your life.
The idea is that we have an inherent mechanism through we which we can view our behaviors, thoughts, emotions, and actions in real time as they are manifesting. Furthermore, we can become aware of why these forces are coming into effect, and make proactive changes as necessary to avoid negative consequences, or turn situations into positive learning experiences. Its as if there is an actual second person who is viewing us from above through an objective prism and giving us direct feedback about the reality of the situation.
For example, let's take a scenario where a man in a bar is talking to a woman that he wants to get to know. She is somewhat skeptical of him and somewhat aloof. As he tries to win her attention and affection, he is leaning into her and beginning to speak loud and fast with his eye brows raised. If he has never been made aware of this behavior and has not developed the ability to self-monitor, he will likely continue to spiral downward into this trap until the woman has gone from quickly waning interest to downright discomfort and dislike.
However, if he is aware that this behavior has been a problem for him in the past and he has developed the ability to self monitor, he can actually catch himself in the midst of this behavior and make a change in real time.
What's more, is that Observing Ego will allow this man to see why his behavior is changing. He can instantaneously realize that the reason he is behaving this way is because he is emotionally attached to the outcome of his interaction with this woman. His behaviors are a natural expression of his state of mind. He can then make a voluntary decision to change his mindset on the fly, and his behavior patterns will follow immediately. This could have a material effect on the entire situation. One could also argue that this could play out in a major way over the course of the rest of his life, and hers, and any resulting children and grandchildren should the interaction last until death do they part.
What is important to take note of, is the fact that Observing Ego must be developed through practice. There are several great exercises that I've developed here on this website that you can use for exactly this. The primary goal is to first become aware of your faults and typical behavior patterns. These can be best discovered through the active use of a personal inventory that investigates our sources of anger, fear, and sexual conduct. The same type of inventory can also be applied to other behaviors such as poor eating, gambling, binge drinking, or other unhealthy and damaging behaviors.
***Important note: These tools are not appropriate on their own for individuals with actual chemical dependencies including alcoholism or drug addiction, eating disorders, chronic gambling or sex addictions, or any other mental illness. If you suspect that you or someone you love is suffering from one of these chronic medical conditions, leave this site immediately and seek professional medical attention right away.
Once the typical reactions have been identified and talked through with an objective party such as a friend or spiritual advisor, they can be indexed in the mind. Through careful attentional and consistent vigilance, these behaviors and thoughts will begin to become apparent to you as they arise. You can then recognize them for what they are, tie them back to their source, and create new thoughts and behaviors in real time.
Here is an example:
A man of short stature often finds himself more easily angered by other men who are larger in size. He doesn't actually realize this, but does get himself into occasional unnecessary confrontations that cause him grief. He also tends to experience slight changes in his personality that are obvious to those around him when someone bigger than him is dominating a conversation or making suggestions that others are willing to follow. Many times he is hard pressed to come to agreements and is flippant and rude, even though he values compromise and harmony in most situations.
Upon examination of his resentments and fears regarding previous experiences, he realizes that he is still angry at people and circumstances from his younger years that are no longer relevant. In particular there may have been specific situation where he was the target of abuse or taken advantage of because of his smaller size. He then realizes that these feelings are very similar to the feelings that he has towards people who he is often confrontational with presently as an adult. Seeing the link it becomes obvious to him that his behaviors are not those that he necessarily wishes to emulate, but that they are automatic reactions to his fear that previous circumstances will re-materialize. And because of his mind set, they often do. This keeps his own cycle of resentment and fear alive and well without him even knowing that there is a way to break that cycle and become free of these delusions.
But now that he is aware of the part that he plays in these situations, as well as the causes behind his actions, he is more conscious of his behavior. Over time, he develops the ability to pick up on the feelings and sensations that well up inside of him when a larger man is in his presence. He then checks those feelings before they manifest as actions. As a result, he makes different choices in his interactions with people and gets different results. Over time his resentments and fears become obsolete and useless to him, and he continues to develop his ability to self monitor and choose his own thoughts and actions. This has ripple effects through his whole life where he is open to connection with entire groups of people and individuals that he would previously have cut off from his reality.
And this is the essence of Observing Ego.
1. becoming aware of one's own thoughts and actions through a personal inventory
2. taking responsibility to understand these thoughts and actions and resolve to change
3. catching oneself in the act of thinking and/or reacting
4. comprehending the source and utility of such thoughts and actions
5. rendering these outdated mechanisms useless through positive choices in thought and action.
Part of what makes Observing Ego so powerful is that it is a purely intellectual and observational mechanism that is detached from emotion. Therefore it allows for a completely objective view of any situation or state independent of emotional energy that usually clouds reasoning and judgment. However, Observing Ego can only function to the level of maturity to which is has been practiced. If the emotional intensity of a situation is far beyond the levels to which the Observing Ego has been developed, it won't be a surprise if the individual is unable to self monitor and reacts emotionally. However, if consistently worked at, Observing Ego can reach a level where it can match almost any emotional state.
It should also be noted that a person can have a highly operational and effective Observing Ego in some areas of their life, and virtually no ability to self monitor and make changes in other areas. Some examples of this would be a highly successful and in shape business man who can't hold a healthy relationship despite his own perceived desire for one, the loving and understanding wife and mother who wants to loose weight but continues to eat unhealthy, or the considerate and relationship oriented athlete who fails to sufficiently control his finances.
For purposes of breaking this concept down and writing this article, I have given Observing Ego a relatively academic and mechanical feel. However, when practiced thoroughly it becomes a working part of the mind that functions almost on auto-pilot. For many people, this faculty has been in place for a long time and developed naturally, and they are not even aware of its existence. With much practice, this same can be true for those who decide to develop it consciously.
What's more, is that Observing Ego can be applied to ANY behavior at all. Here's a few examples: bickering, over eating, drinking, smoking, sex, approval seeking, going to work every day, road rage, shop lifting, obsessive exercise, shopping...the list goes on and on and on.
For anyone who desires to make changes in their life as a whole or in specific areas, Observing Ego is an incredibly effective and powerful tool to learn and master.
I have heard it said that an upwards of 95% of our behaviors and thoughts are auto-responses that we have learned through conditioning. 95%!!!!!! No wonder so many of us are walking through the world like robots! Well the time has come to SNAP OUT OF IT!
Of course, this may not be something that can happen over night for us. It sure isn't happening that way for me. But Sigmund Fred wrote on an incredible topic that I heard about through another favorite thinker of mine named Dr. Paul Dobranski. This topic is the idea of the “Observing Ego.” Essentially, Observing Ego is the mechanism through which you can monitor yourself in real time. This is an essential part of making changes to your thoughts, your behaviors, and ultimately, your life.
The idea is that we have an inherent mechanism through we which we can view our behaviors, thoughts, emotions, and actions in real time as they are manifesting. Furthermore, we can become aware of why these forces are coming into effect, and make proactive changes as necessary to avoid negative consequences, or turn situations into positive learning experiences. Its as if there is an actual second person who is viewing us from above through an objective prism and giving us direct feedback about the reality of the situation.
For example, let's take a scenario where a man in a bar is talking to a woman that he wants to get to know. She is somewhat skeptical of him and somewhat aloof. As he tries to win her attention and affection, he is leaning into her and beginning to speak loud and fast with his eye brows raised. If he has never been made aware of this behavior and has not developed the ability to self-monitor, he will likely continue to spiral downward into this trap until the woman has gone from quickly waning interest to downright discomfort and dislike.
However, if he is aware that this behavior has been a problem for him in the past and he has developed the ability to self monitor, he can actually catch himself in the midst of this behavior and make a change in real time.
What's more, is that Observing Ego will allow this man to see why his behavior is changing. He can instantaneously realize that the reason he is behaving this way is because he is emotionally attached to the outcome of his interaction with this woman. His behaviors are a natural expression of his state of mind. He can then make a voluntary decision to change his mindset on the fly, and his behavior patterns will follow immediately. This could have a material effect on the entire situation. One could also argue that this could play out in a major way over the course of the rest of his life, and hers, and any resulting children and grandchildren should the interaction last until death do they part.
What is important to take note of, is the fact that Observing Ego must be developed through practice. There are several great exercises that I've developed here on this website that you can use for exactly this. The primary goal is to first become aware of your faults and typical behavior patterns. These can be best discovered through the active use of a personal inventory that investigates our sources of anger, fear, and sexual conduct. The same type of inventory can also be applied to other behaviors such as poor eating, gambling, binge drinking, or other unhealthy and damaging behaviors.
***Important note: These tools are not appropriate on their own for individuals with actual chemical dependencies including alcoholism or drug addiction, eating disorders, chronic gambling or sex addictions, or any other mental illness. If you suspect that you or someone you love is suffering from one of these chronic medical conditions, leave this site immediately and seek professional medical attention right away.
Once the typical reactions have been identified and talked through with an objective party such as a friend or spiritual advisor, they can be indexed in the mind. Through careful attentional and consistent vigilance, these behaviors and thoughts will begin to become apparent to you as they arise. You can then recognize them for what they are, tie them back to their source, and create new thoughts and behaviors in real time.
Here is an example:
A man of short stature often finds himself more easily angered by other men who are larger in size. He doesn't actually realize this, but does get himself into occasional unnecessary confrontations that cause him grief. He also tends to experience slight changes in his personality that are obvious to those around him when someone bigger than him is dominating a conversation or making suggestions that others are willing to follow. Many times he is hard pressed to come to agreements and is flippant and rude, even though he values compromise and harmony in most situations.
Upon examination of his resentments and fears regarding previous experiences, he realizes that he is still angry at people and circumstances from his younger years that are no longer relevant. In particular there may have been specific situation where he was the target of abuse or taken advantage of because of his smaller size. He then realizes that these feelings are very similar to the feelings that he has towards people who he is often confrontational with presently as an adult. Seeing the link it becomes obvious to him that his behaviors are not those that he necessarily wishes to emulate, but that they are automatic reactions to his fear that previous circumstances will re-materialize. And because of his mind set, they often do. This keeps his own cycle of resentment and fear alive and well without him even knowing that there is a way to break that cycle and become free of these delusions.
But now that he is aware of the part that he plays in these situations, as well as the causes behind his actions, he is more conscious of his behavior. Over time, he develops the ability to pick up on the feelings and sensations that well up inside of him when a larger man is in his presence. He then checks those feelings before they manifest as actions. As a result, he makes different choices in his interactions with people and gets different results. Over time his resentments and fears become obsolete and useless to him, and he continues to develop his ability to self monitor and choose his own thoughts and actions. This has ripple effects through his whole life where he is open to connection with entire groups of people and individuals that he would previously have cut off from his reality.
And this is the essence of Observing Ego.
1. becoming aware of one's own thoughts and actions through a personal inventory
2. taking responsibility to understand these thoughts and actions and resolve to change
3. catching oneself in the act of thinking and/or reacting
4. comprehending the source and utility of such thoughts and actions
5. rendering these outdated mechanisms useless through positive choices in thought and action.
Part of what makes Observing Ego so powerful is that it is a purely intellectual and observational mechanism that is detached from emotion. Therefore it allows for a completely objective view of any situation or state independent of emotional energy that usually clouds reasoning and judgment. However, Observing Ego can only function to the level of maturity to which is has been practiced. If the emotional intensity of a situation is far beyond the levels to which the Observing Ego has been developed, it won't be a surprise if the individual is unable to self monitor and reacts emotionally. However, if consistently worked at, Observing Ego can reach a level where it can match almost any emotional state.
It should also be noted that a person can have a highly operational and effective Observing Ego in some areas of their life, and virtually no ability to self monitor and make changes in other areas. Some examples of this would be a highly successful and in shape business man who can't hold a healthy relationship despite his own perceived desire for one, the loving and understanding wife and mother who wants to loose weight but continues to eat unhealthy, or the considerate and relationship oriented athlete who fails to sufficiently control his finances.
For purposes of breaking this concept down and writing this article, I have given Observing Ego a relatively academic and mechanical feel. However, when practiced thoroughly it becomes a working part of the mind that functions almost on auto-pilot. For many people, this faculty has been in place for a long time and developed naturally, and they are not even aware of its existence. With much practice, this same can be true for those who decide to develop it consciously.
What's more, is that Observing Ego can be applied to ANY behavior at all. Here's a few examples: bickering, over eating, drinking, smoking, sex, approval seeking, going to work every day, road rage, shop lifting, obsessive exercise, shopping...the list goes on and on and on.
For anyone who desires to make changes in their life as a whole or in specific areas, Observing Ego is an incredibly effective and powerful tool to learn and master.
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